fit in or **** off

It's unfair that my name wasn't fortunately selected among the slate of those who were allowed to join our instructor for a medical mission in Brent school. I'm soooo sad. huhu I could've had the chance to mingle with doctors and patients with different hiatus. !! I haaiizzt maybe next time! yepyepyep :P I must admit, for the first time, I became jealous when I heard my classmates talk about their incredible experiences from the med'l mission. waaaaahh jealousy is a sin! shrug it off okie.. huhu not now. >:'( not now when I can't sleep because of it!!

feeling penitent...

      I have had so many slaps in the face, Weals all over my body. Scars on my skin. I take it all like a man. unmoved. passive. untouched. With every slap, I wail. Pensive at the weals left by the thick belt. The world rotates, life goes on. I ride & go along with the tide. I cry then later laugh. Fall and eventually rise. I act according to what my heart feels and what my mind says. I cut short any poignant feeling. Comfort myself in solitude. There is nothing in this world that could make me down. I had fall so hard that my face could almost touch the ground. My knees ache from constant smite. I weep. bleed. & search for any sting that could make me retaliate. My mind is always occupied with vile thoughts...  But the Lord has forgiven my wickedness. Simply bec. I forgave those who had hurt me. In my heart I asked for repentance, & he was glad for so I did. The populace do not understand how important it is to be penitent. Their passiveness leads to stupidity, sloth & sin.

       I praise you Lord! for you have answered my prayers... and You, the son of God, is my salvation!

Social Misfit

            So ang chasm between friends of friends and not so friend of friends ay ms lalong lumalalim… hmm sbi ni Rea: napuno n rw cia. Lagi n lng cia ang lumlapit pra mkpg-bati… okieo. I’ve thought of that even before pa. Ba’t b ndi pko nkkpg-kasundo??? Kc now I’m giving her all the right and time to detest me. I don’t wanna speak to her for I fear that I might only add difficulty to the dilemma. It was all my fault. oo lam ko ang lhat ng un. There is a right time to speak and remain silent. For now, I think I should go with being silent for a while. Peo cla msmo ang gumgwa ng “arroyo” (hehe). Nananahimik n nga kmi for goodness’ sake! Anu b ang gus2 nlang pa2nayan??? please end the seemingly endless abyss! Waah..:P:P:P:P

            I am sincerely happy and satisfied with who I am with for now. Conspicuously, they are too. Why can’t we just be all happy??? msaya nmn ang mundo… mkuntento n lng kau s pggng msaya… okieo ha smile nah… :P wg n kau mgsabi ng kung anu-anu dhil lapit n Grad!

            But I’m planning not to talk to them ‘till Graduation… hehe I’ll act as if I never knew them. As if they never were a part of my life. But I know, deep inside of me, God knows, he knows me well that I’d continue loving them secretly & unnoticeably. Maybe then someday, when our friendship has preserved itself into something new, I will remember them…

:P :P :P

The Pit of Hell

~I just bought a book: “Heaven Is So Real”. It’s an epitome of what a Korean-American woman has experienced meeting our Lord Jesus & visiting His kingdom in heaven. I was so determined to buy a book coz I love reading a lot especially when I like the subject matter of the story. I am not pious (neither secular! Guess I’m a little of both) in fact I have no interest in religion and anything of that particular kind (but I do read the Bible). It wasn’t the title that got my attention neither did the style of the cover page. I dunno. I just saw it, read the preface flipped through the pages and then whoom decided to buy it. I thought, this got to be good or else… or else hmm just nothing. I don’t want to regret buying it. So I started reading the book last Saturday. I didn’t review for my final exams coz  hm  I just don’t feel like it. Hehe. Let’s go back to the book. Lord Jesus has chosen Choo

Nam

(author) to write a book addressing the populace that he shall be coming very soon… “Sooner than you think”- as Jesus said. He also assumed that He has all ready prepared a kingdom from heaven for his children yet the people seem to be too attached from the earthly pleasures of the earth.

I thought about what I had seen and heard from the T.V. years ago, when I was just a tyke. The Old men & women were hysteric, wailing and saying that the world will end soon enough so the wicked should almost immediately repent for their sins. Hmm.. in my innate mind, since I do not have a fictitious mentality, I thought that those people were lunatics and should be put up in a mental institution where they could be free from saying na “Guguho na ang Mundo!!!” waaah. But now, as I grow older, as I witness to see the continuous incidence of calamities; either natural or not. As I spectate the endless sufferings of millions of people, I begin to have doubts, & countless worries if it is sane to think that it could be all possible!. Jesus told his disciples:

      

And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things will come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines (extreme food scarcity), pestilences (epidemic of disease) and earthquake in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows.

Then they will deliver up to the tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake. And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up & deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of may will grow old. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the END will come…

- Matthew 24: 6-14

            In the book, Jesus would often say only those who are pure at heart and obedient would enter His kingdom. I cannot deny I am not good at all. I do a lot of sins, I am not obedient. I am unlawful. I steal. (the ball pens of others). I do not honor my parents. I harbor hatred. I possess all seven deadly sins. And yes I am bad and neither am I good enough but I do not deserve to go to the Pit!. Nevertheless Jesus has ordered Choo

Nam

to write a book not only to narrate her amazing experiences through her visits in heaven but also to warn us, people, all sinners like you and me, from what life we will get if we won’t draw ourselves close to the Lord and not be penitent with our sins…

The Pit of Hell

(Choo

Nam

)…When we reached the summit and I looked over the crest of the mountain, I could see fumes and dark smoke rising from a deep pit. It was like the crater of a volcano, and inside I could see flames scorching a multitude of people who were screaming and crying in the mind of agony that only the severely burned truly know.

The people were naked, without hair, and standing close to one another, moving like worms, and the flames were scorching their bodies. There was no escape for those who were captured in the pit—its walls were too deep for them to climb, and hot coals of fire were all around the edges.

            “The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire”--- (Rev. 20:13-15)

The flames would leap out unexpectedly from all directions. People would move away, and then as soon as they think that they were safe, another fire would burst forth. There was no rest for these unfortunate victims of sin; they were doomed to spend all eternity being scorched and burned as they endeavored to escape the flames of hell.

                                                                       ---excerpt from "Heaven Is So Real"

Bursting point

Distinct Chasm.. Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

           Mei ksalanan nnman akohng ngawa.. & nagalit cla. okie. kht sobrang taas ng pride ko, binababa koh kc asa Bible un eh.. Sbi, ksalanan mo mn o ndi, kaw n mismo gumwa ng way pra maayos ang anumang feud. cnbi ko un ke Kylie kc mei misunderstanding rn cla n hmm.. maaayos ng onti ang mundo kng ganun lhat ng tao.. ndi ung pakipot n ewan. Peo ngaun bt b nlilito nnman akoh. So ksalanan koh, alangan nmn n mglupasay akoh s khihingi ng sorry o kya mgpa-epal hnggang s ndi k prin pncnin..

          I could make amends. Anytime.. bt I wouldn't wouldn't coz it isn't isn't now I really wouldn't. Always it is I who has to understand. Who has to adjust. Ambecile I'm sick of it. Oh Lord forgive me.

         Bahala cla. If they shall make a league against me, then so be it. If they shall hate me for my misdemeanor, I'll understand. But if they try just even try to bother or annoy my so far satisfied world, I will not retaliate.  For retaliation is like blow for a blow. insult for an insult. Rather, I will push beyond the limitation of my fury. And the deep cuts.. The deep cuts will be the evidence of my unformulated stupidity..

        Imagine in the end, stupid rn pla akoh! hehe never dpt mgtanim ng galit people! 'it is meaningless!' -sbi nga ni K. Solomon. So anu kelangan mo gawin ha Angelik??? la.. i2log n lng babbu